Hi there, awesome people! Sorry I’ve been silent for a while, for everyone who cares (all half dozen of you—the best of you! And Mom…hi, Mom). I moved from Boston to Colorado Springs in July for a new job, and the move did not go smoothly. Then the new job I started did not go smooth either, and then I thought again about retiring early but decided (again) that wasn’t a feasible option, and spent a few weeks in mental turmoil over the situation. Then at work we started getting inundated with suicide awareness stuff due to an increase in military suicides, even though it’s well known none of this “awareness” actually does anything to lower the rate, and my cortisol levels ratcheted up even further. What hilarious irony.
Basically, I went through a bout of depression. As a result, I had to tap out of social media for a bit. Posting stuff online when you’re depressed is always a bad idea; I’ve learned this the hard way. I’ve never been super into social media—partly because of my age, but mostly because I’m a private person who thinks a lot of things I don’t feel comfortable sharing—but generally, when I post a lot, it means I’m happy. When I stop posting, it means I’m sad (or unavailable for some reason).
So I was sad. But now I’m feeling better! What snapped me out of my funk? Weirdly enough, it was the TV show Good Omens.
If you’re not aware, Good Omens is an Amazon Prime-produced TV show about an angel and a demon based out of England who work together to try to prevent the apocalypse. The story is adapted by a book of the same name by Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman, and if you’re familiar with their work then you know what to expect. It’s goofy as hell in the vein of Monty Python, with extremely British humor and a loopy narrative that’s constantly going off on random tangents. However, at its heart is a touching tribute to the power of friendship. The actors who play the angel (Aziraphale) and the demon (Crowley)—Michael Sheen and David Tennant, respectively—have ridiculous chemistry. Seriously, they might have one of the best bromances put to film. When Crowley off-handedly yet sincerely suggests he and Az fly to Alpha Centauri together to avoid the apocalypse, I dare you to watch Az’s face light up with a tiny, loving smile and not squeal over how heart-warming it is. I DARE YOU!
Anyway, I found myself really identifying with Crowley especially—and not because I feel like a demon or that I work for a demonic organization or anything like that. It’s more like [author’s note—originally I wrote some fairly vague stuff here about my day job, but later cut it out cuz I don’t need that drama in the very off chance my boss wanders across this blog or whatever]. Crowley’s friendship with Az gets him through the millennia, as well as his rebellious spirit, damn the consequences.
It’s the second part that appealed to me (well the first part is nice too, but you can’t control that). I’m a square peg in a round hole too, and I should just embrace it and stop trying to fit into the damn hole. It worked out for Crowley! Yes, I know it’s just a TV show, but it’s still inspiring.
And that’s why I’m posting now. It’s time to get on with things, be the square peg, and bang out the next couple years in Colorado Springs. I’ve also got a hillbilly hot tub and some beer to help things along.
…Okay, interesting fact—I originally wrote this post over two months ago (in August), then didn’t post it for whatever reason. In fact I’ve written a bunch of stuff since then that I haven’t posted because I haven’t felt like it. I’ve packed up the hot tub for the season. Social media continues to be overwhelming and scary. I guess I wasn’t quite out of my funk. I don’t think I’ll be out of my funk for approximately two more years. Damn. Eh, maybe medication will help.
Now I’m wondering if I should cut out that last line, or not post this blog entry at all.
See the vicious cycle of silence here?
Fine, I’ll just fucking post it before I talk myself out of it.